Dear Jordan

Dear Jordan

Today you both ended a friendship

You both mutually agreed to block another

It hurts

Almost 3 years

Endless ups

Very few downs

Laughs

Tears

Smiles

Nudges

Handholding

Kisses

Naps

Calls

Texts

Hikes

Sports

Beaches

Disney

Facetimes

It's not what you both wanted

But what you both have needed

For a long time

I was there for her

She was there for me

You fell in love with her

You loved her sons as your own

You loved her family as your own

You prayed for her siblings

You learned so much from her

You grew so much from her

You smiled so much from her

You loved so much from her

Today hurts

Love hurts

You're allowed to feel sad

You're allowed to feel pain

You're allowed to feel confused

You're allowed to move on

You've been asking everyday

How bad do you want to improve your life?

Where do you want be 5 years from now?

You've made changes

Accepted a new job

Scouted out new apartments

Changed your morning routine

Started running more

Overcome so much in 5 months

You should be proud!

Today you're awaken

The new clock has started

You never look back

The race is long

Take your time

There's no rush

You're allowed to walk

It'll be easy at times

It'll be hard at times

Your fans will be there when you look & ask

Don't forget to drink water and enjoy the moment

Look back on this day as the starting line

You have so much to live for

You have so much support

You have done the best you can

God is with you

So...I'll ask again:

How bad do you want to improve your life?

One more thing...I'm proud of you!

I'm proud of who you've become!

I'm looking forward to who you will become!

You should be proud! Keep going! YOU GOT THIS!

- Jordan

Awaken

I remember it vividly. I was falling from a stairwell. I tried to my best to warn people it would happen. I knew it that moment everything I knew and loved was over. Before my fate was sealed, my alarm went off. I was awakened.

 

            Thankfully that sequence was just a dream. Have you ever had one of those dreams? Isn’t it a relief when you wake up from them? This one was as real as it gets. It felt like an out of body experience. Never had I been more relieved to be awake.

 

            I immediately got to work on my morning routine: devotions, pushups, stretches, and morning reading, drinking water. I remember being extra thankful throughout that day and the days that followed. But none of what I was doing felt enough after my mythical experience.

 

            I started thinking about how I was living in my life currently. The closest ones to me know I’m not settled. I know in my heart I need to change and I’m ready to. I have bigger plans and I’m eager to see what my future holds in the coming months. But… before that dream, I hadn’t started preparing for my future. That dream has awakened me. 

 

            Since then, I have gotten rid of more items at my apartment and in my classroom that were collecting dust bunnies for over 4 years. This’ll help me for my future move. I created my resume, started running more, paid for fun events I’ll attend in the future, and I’ve had two interviews. This’ll help me decide what job I want in the future if I want to make changes. Ironically, I been awake more as well. 

 

            I don’t have time to waste. My future starts with what I’m doing today. I’m reading more, running more, studying more, and living my life for me more! It’s been a great month of learning and growing! I am awaken! 

Adding & Subtracting

Let’s start off with some math! Are you ready?! What is 2 + 2? FOUR is absolutely correct! Good job! What about 45- 16? It’s 29! You took a little longer on that one. I bet you weren’t expecting to do math when reading a blog …or maybe you did when you read my title.

 

 

This year I’ve seen more friends share their “Ins and Outs” for 2024. The ins are priorities people are going to focus on more or keep in their lives. The outs are things people are getting rid of or do less of. This got me thinking about my own. This year I’m expecting big changes and putting mine in my first blog of 2024 will hold me accountable. I love being a math and science this school year. With that spirit in mind, I’m going call mine: adding and subtracting!

 

Adding: Reading

 

            This is one I’ve been doing consistently for years, but never enough of it. In 2022 & 2023 I tied for 40 books read. This is the year I exceed that mark. I’ve added reading as little as 1-5 pages as part of my morning routine, and most nights read more before bed. Now, I love reading in the mornings and I helps me feel a little more successful!

 

Subtracting: Screen time

 

            Raise your hand if your phone rarely leaves your side. Raise your hand if you log 7+ hours on it daily. I’m guilty. If you are too, and if you have an iPhone, you can actually go into the settings, then type screen time, pick any app, and set a time limit on that app to limit your screen time. It’s that easy! I just started doing this for YouTube and Instagram. …I also moved my phone away from me when I go to bed, so I must get out of bed and turn off my alarm. It’s been painful, but it’s working for getting my day started immediately! 

 

Adding: Eating fruit

 

            I’m a picky eater. Scratch that, I’m becoming a healthy eater! (Growth Mindset!) Somehow I’ve been able to get away eating unhealthy for decades and still able to run extremely fast. As part of my new routine, I’m also eating a fruit before I leave or when I get home. To help this create this new habit, I’m starting to buy less sugary chips and candy. 

 

Subtracting: following people I don’t enjoy (anymore) on social media

 

            I’ve had social media teacher friends I’ve followed for since I started teaching for almost a decade. They’re my friends and teacher heroes. For some of them, they’re prioritizing growing their business with more posts with ads and less about teaching ideas or have left teaching altogether. That’s great for them. They should doing it! In December, I started unfollowing many whom no longer serve a purpose in my career or my friendship. Follow people you want to follow. Unfollow people, even if they’re still following you, who don’t add meaning to your life. 

 

Adding: Drinking more water

 

            You might be catching a trend. Jordan is trying to live a healthier life, so just categorize these adds as “healthy lifestyle”. I can’t. I want each one to be individualized. The truth is I used to drink plenty of water …until I moved to Florida. Water here taste different and as a result, I stopped drinking water almost altogether. I know for a fact I’ve gone weeks without water, substituting it for Gatorade and soda. To make it a prioritize, it’s on my daily habit checklist along with fruit. More importantly both are the first things I see in my fridge because I moved my sodas and sports drinks to the side. Why didn’t I do this sooner?! 

 

Subtracting: my current apartment

 

            Minus the incredible view, it’s been challenging to stay here, especially after 2023. I don’t feel safe here or prioritized. To my perspective, it seems like our apartment is getting dirtier and unsafe by the day. I talk to my friends so much about what I want an apartment to feel and be like. When I see other apartments in certain locations, I get excited and instantly happier. I know income plays a big factor. Fingers crossed I can move! 

 

Adding: leaving when my contractual work hours stop

 

           Even with my new routine that adds an addition 20-30 minutes of personal tranquilly time to my morning, I still get to school 30-40 minutes before my contractual hours. And this year, I only teach math and science I don't have as much on my plate (most days) so it means I'm going to prioritize leaving when my contractual hours ends 20-30 minutes after the final bell. I do a great job using my time wisely when I'm at school, so why not use my personal time wisely too!

 

Subtracting: Settling for less than my dream

 

            I want to change my life for the better to achieve my wildest dreams. Because of my career, naysayers have said I’ll never live in a nicer house, upscale apartment, or make enough money to live comfortably. I strongly disagree with them. I want to change my life so badly. I write this daily. Their doubts add fuel my fire to keep chasing my happiness! I believe this year, I’ll be moving in that direction, even if it’s slowing or just adding a few pieces.

 

Adding: new Florida experiences

 

            Remember how I shared how rare I went to the beach in my first 4 years in Florida? Then I prioritized it. This year I’ve created a list of things in Florida that I still haven’t done that I want to do. That list includes, eating at Waffle House, seeing the Everglades, going to a Buccaneers game, riding in a Hot Air Balloon, and many more! Having first experiences by myself or friends can create lots of discomfort, but that’s also what makes them rewarding! Every year is different and I’m getting better at seeking out experiences. I’m excited to see what I’ll cross off my list!

 

___________________________________________________________

 

What do you want to add and subtract in your life? Maybe you want to add more volunteer time at your church. Maybe you’re trying to get rid of an addiction you’ve never quit. Whatever it is, THIS IS YOUR YEAR! Write on a paper or search the web for a habit list. Whatever you do, don’t settle, keep growing, add things that improve your life, and subtract things and people that don’t. If you do, I promise you, you’ll have the BEST 2024 EVER!

P.S. This was my 50th straight month of blogging! 🎉 

2023 Recap

             2023 is over in just a few hours. It was a year that had many, many highs, but recently has had many, many lows. To have a year that saw me happier and out of my comfort zone end with sadness does give 2023 a bitter taste. I know creating a collage of memories here will put a bow on a very great year of my life! 

Here's a year's worth of memories! 

What would be a foreshadowing of a year of Disney, my dad and I ran in the 2023 Disney World Half Marathon. It wasn't on our bucket lists, but I LOVED this half marathon. Lots of music, plenty of walkers, and you run through the parks (for free lol). There's no pressure participating in this half marathon, except trying to get in it. Also...it was 42 degrees of all days in Florida! Great race!

Fantasmic came to back to Disney World Hollywood Studios and the show was so good!

A day of Disney fun with friends in Toy-Story Mania!

 10 years ago my dad and I did a half marathon a Colorado trail that proved to be challenging ... so I did it again in Florida, but ran further than I ever had. Word to wise... don't wear white clothes in the woods. I ate dirt, tree roots, and inches twice, leaving a bloody knee, but I still got 2nd place!

Some new costumes I debuted...were one time wears. Hahaha!

Some new costumes I debuted...look cuter than the picture shows. I had orange webbed feet!

The baby chicks are always a huge hit! We made a good patch hatch this year!

Training for the marathon got much more serious, when I put these brand new Saucony Endorphin Elites on. I've never had better running shoes. I started running times I hadn't ran since college, nearly 10 years ago.

4th Graders finally got to go back St. Augustine! Such a great place to go back in time. 

                                       

Baseball, sharks, and bubble go together like...winning on a balk! What a great game!

First time kayaking! It was an easy experience, with great views all around me. Side note... I'm not what had more water in it, the lake...or our kayak! Haha! 

When at Buc-ees...you must take a picture with Buc-ee! I'm just following the rules.

Smiling before all the pies get pushed into my face. Another Potrzeba classic!

26.2 miles, my first marathon! It was a PR in mileage by 6 miles. Read the June blog! This was my favorite blog post to type. 

The guy will likely never know the gratitude I had for him pacing us 3 hour marathoners. Lots joined the chase for 3 hours, but only I remained after 20 miles. He saved me mentally in the later stages. I'm so lucky I can forever say my first marathon ran will always be under 3 hours thanks to him. 

Zion National Park after my marathon. I was hurting so badly, but had to. It's an iconic park!

Bryce Canyon has so many easy walking trails and the sights fill the air as the oxygen dwindles. 

Capitol Reef had layers of colors!

Arches National Park! Between Bryce and Arches, I love hiking more and more! I climbed that and much more at Arches! Utah has always held a special place in heart. I love it even more now!

Selfies with my nephew. He was even holding my hand! He's growing up so fast!

I knew time was precious with my grandma the last two years. Distance has kept us apart, but thankfully she was active on social media. This was the last photo we took together. 

I love going to the College World Series! The opening weekend is the best! This game TCU took the W!

It's a yearly tradition watching the Royals lose to the Rays while eating chicken strips. But the Rays' ballpark atmosphere is always so fun ...and an air conditioned stadium helps.  

No that's NOT my dirty laundry. It's was actually gently used clothes that I was donating. It was a massive pile and I'm hoping others could wear. I even donated shoes, toys, books, and other household items. I had a big summer clean. 

I didn't go the beach as much this year, but I still made sure to go since I'm surrounded by beaches!

I became a Disney Pass holder. Yes me! So far, it's been a fun experience! Disney has grown so much on me! Can I say I'm officially "Floridian" yet?

Starting year 8! It's going great! Okay, I'll be honest...it's been fun, but challenging with groups we have. It is my first year only teaching math and science and that's been so FUN!!!!

Texas A&M loves traditions, football, and giving Jimbo Fisher free money! But in all seriousness, this experience was one of one! The fans, the pregame festivities outside the stadium, the chants, and the stadium were just some of the many things I'll always remember. 

The Royals happened to be in town so we had to attend right after the game! Turns out our seats were right next to more Royals fans! Finally I witnessed a Royals VICTORY! (The next day they swept the Astros.) Minute Maid Park is a beautiful park! 

Peter Brown finally released the 3rd Wild Robot book! It's such a good book. I think its deeper connection to global warming is what I really enjoyed about it. 

It had been 5-6 years so I did a basketball room transformation and this one turned out great!

I debuted a new mini room transformation with a cafe feel to it! I wore a chef outfit.

Our district bought tons of Lego Spike kits for schools. I attended a training so I could be knowledgeable. We had so much fun building with these. I even get to keep one!

I've seen Steve Spangler in person a few times, but this fall he came to our district so I had to attend. It was during Halloween, Steve's favorite holiday. I had a front row seat. He is why I teach science the way I do. My education story is similar to his. Always remember your audience: your students. 

A friend asked me to pace him in a half marathon 15 days before it was going to be run. Having not trained, been nursing a little injury, I said YES! Well...the Raceday temperatures got warm in a hurrier and my friend needed to drop of his designated pace 3 miles in so the race was a disaster, but not totally. Some races you just got to finish and this was one of those.

Side note: In October I completed my 24 straight month of racing. A feat I never saw coming. So to date, I'm on a 26 month race streak that I'm continuing for now. 

Nebraska finally came to Florida! What I mean is... Nebraska VOLLEYBALL came to Florida! They had a record setting season! One that saw 93,003 fans set a women's sporting event world record in Memorial Stadium. This was the championship game...that I will never recall who won...?

I love hanging up lights, putting on fun outfits, and turning on the smart board "fireplace" during December in classroom. It's a peaceful and magical time. I love seeing the faces when students open gifts.

2023 was a great year!

____________

One more photo of grandma. I was blessed to have her in my life for 30 years, but more importantly during my childhood. Some of my favorite childhood memories I'll have for the rest of my life were Fridays with grandma and my mom at Burger King, plus the many weekends spent with her and grandpa on their farm. I lost my other grandparents early during my childhood, so having her in my life was special. She loved to go garage sale shopping ...then resale those items for even more money. She had a strong catholic faith, a green thumb, at least one cat, plenty of patience, and so much love for family. 

RIP Grandma Hoarty. I love and miss you! 

Together

“You have no food. You have no family. You have no friends around you.” 

That was the text I received from one of my friends on Thanksgiving. 

I didn’t get mad because I knew my friend was wrong.

 

For the seventh straight year I was spending Thanksgiving alone in my apartment. I posted a Thanksgiving photo of myself dressed in a turkey costume on my socials wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. I sent a few texts to friends and family. I even received some pleasantries friends and family as well. I slept in. I had a “healthy” breakfast of Coco Puffs. I even spent 4 hours reading a good book! The morning was going great! 

 

Until I received the text from above. It was shocking and not my preference to be on the receiving end. Nor did I think I deserved to be. I tried to let it go, wishing my friend a good day. But I couldn’t let it go because although word-for-word it was true; it wasn’t actually true.

 

For the first time in seven Thanksgivings, I didn’t feel alone. I felt…together. Even though I’ve had a lot of ups and downs lately, I felt right where I should be, even by myself. I was perfectly okay.

 

The more I thought about her words, the more I disagreed. I did have food. I might not eat much or bought the traditional Thanksgiving meal; I had the food I wanted and needed. Whereas there’s so many people around our country and world that would love to have a taste of the food I had. 

 

She was right, I had no family…in my apartment. But she didn’t know I had already talked to my brother in length that morning. The days prior, I had talked to my parents separately at least 4 times during the week. I knew where they were spending their Thanksgiving. I felt together with them, even from afar. 

 

As for my friends, I received and sent a few texts to my closest friends. Friends don’t typically spend Thanksgiving Day together anyway. They spend it on the new “holiday”, Friendsgiving. I’m thankful to be surrounded by friends near and far. The friends I do have, we’re very close. So, the truth is…I felt together with food, family, and friends.

 

The last three months are a wonderful time of the year because we’re together with friends, family, and lots of food every month! It’s a time to celebration and togetherness. It’s not a time to put each other down, but rather raise each other up and remind each other through the good and bad, we are there for each other. It should never be forced or assumed what someone needs. Let’s come together and accept each other’s imperfections, have compassion, and have courage to do the right thing.

 

On Thanksgiving Day, even being alone, I felt I was more than enough. I felt together with friends and family near and far away! 

Changing Seasons

The leaves are turning colors

The weather is cooling

The days are getting shorter

Friendships are…changing

 

            It’s a wonderful time of the year! The final three months are full of holidays and celebrations! The more the leaves change (everywhere except Florida), everyone gets the craving for cooler weather, flannel shirts, and pumpkin spice everything. It’s a very exciting time! There’s so much joy!

 

            For me, that always means at least one friendship changes. For whatever reason, every October, I lose a close friend that I’ve gotten close with. … I checked Facebook today and one of my memories mentions how difficult October was. Then I thought back to that year and sure enough I said goodbye to a close friend I cared about. 

 

            This year, it’s been no different. Another friendship is coming to a close. To be honest, I’m struggling with saying goodbye to it. We’ve had this friendship for years! We’ve hung out a few times, communicated daily in multiple ways. They’ve were my best friend! Then suddenly, I got a text that hit me a like a train. Ever since, I’ve been wilting. 

 

            I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and wonder. The more this friendship changes it’s very comparable to the seasons changing from the perspective of a plant. 

 

            Throughout this friendship, there’s been a lot of growth from both of us. From where we started years ago to now, we could’ve never guessed what our friendship was the better part of this year. We have grown a lot, I’m proud of far we’ve come. To see my friend thriving is a beautiful thing to behold.

 

            Water and sunshine are necessary. My friend was going through a lot of things personally, and I was there for whatever she needed. I was happy to help wherever I could. She would do the same for me. It was amazing to see the results when we both needed the other one. We were there for the other on sunny days and the rainy days. 

 

            As the seasons change, plants start to wilt, especially this time of the year. This year’s blooms are done and cold is starting to take over. That’s when it’s important to remember the good times. The blooms during the spring and summer months. That’s how it was with our friendship. There were many highlights during these last few years. Memories that’ll remember for the rest of my life! I’ll cherish those.

 

            The hard part is sometimes no matter how bad you want it to flourish, no matter how hard you work for it: the time, the effort, the nurturing, and the love poured in, some friendships won’t survive, just like plants. It won’t make sense in the moment, but you’re lucky, you’ll learn why later it didn’t make it. It’s not that you did anything wrong (it’s possible that you did), sometimes things just don’t work.

 

            The most important thing to remember during this new season is that it won’t last forever. It may some seem like it, but it won’t. The days will keep going. Time will keep passing second by second. You’ll continue learn from it and keep moving. Then…when the timing is just right, when you’re ready, when everything is just right for you, you’ll sprout again! That’ll be a marvelous season! As I embark on this new season, I’m wilting again, but know when the timing is just right, I’ll be ready to bloom again. That’s what I’m looking forward to!

Imposter

“This year’s winner of the teacher of the year is…MR. POTRZEBA!”

 

I remember the butterflies I felt seconds before I received the applause and flowers. Then I distinctly remembering all the incredible teachers at my school that were nominated for the award, but didn’t win; many of which, inspired me to be the teacher I currently am. Hidden under my smile felt like I was an imposter amongst the crowd of teachers.

 

Two weeks ago, I ran in my monthly race. It was a 5k. I ran 3.1 miles averaging a 5:51 per mile pace. That’s very fast! When one of the coordinators asked what my secret was, I shook my head and said “I don’t know? I only run 2-3 times week and don’t have a good diet.” His jaw dropped in disbelief. It got me thinking, maybe it isn’t fair of me to run so well and do so much less than other runners. I felt like an imposter again. 

 

It was hard to accept such a prestigious award knowing many days I do not perform like a “teacher of the year.” As a matter of a fact, days ago I had parent threaten to remove their child from my class. (If you knew that parent, then you’d know she has a history of doing this and that I’m not the problem.) Admin and an officer witnessed the exchange and escorted her away. When my principal named a new 4^th grade team leader this month, she didn’t choose me. Both of these, deep down, stung a little.

 

To put the cherry on top, myself and 11,038 were emailed yesterday that despite our times being fast enough Boston Marathon Qualifying times, due to limited field size and spots reserved for charities, all 11,039 of us will not be running in our dream race in 2024: the Boston Marathon. The sweat, mileage, pain, traveling, effort I did I wasn’t good enough. It still hurts as I’m typing this. 

 

And finally, there’s many decisions looming during and after this current school year. What school I teach at? Where will I live? What apartment complex should I live in next? When will I run my next marathon? Do I opt for surgery on my left ankle? Do I move cities or states? Should I move closer to friends, family, or elsewhere? I just feel like an imposter knowing how confused I am currently. These thoughts weigh on me heavily daily.

 

Every teacher is a teacher of the year to one student out there. We’ve made an impact on countless lives that we’ll never know. That’s an incredible feeling. Every teacher deserves to be teacher of the year and they are unnoticeably to our students! For me, being voted as this year’s recipient means I represent our school, our teachers, and most importantly, our students. The award is an inspiration from the thousands of students I’ve taught and a culmination of great teaching I’ve learned from my past and current colleagues and lots of books and PDs. I’m honored to be this year’s recipient and will always hold it near and dear to my heart.

 

Running wise, the amount weekly mileage one does, nor running in the Boston Marathon define who they are, including me. It’s the fact when you lace up your shoes, lift one foot up, and stide out with your arms you are now a runner. One race will not discredit the hundreds of races I’ve participated in. Many people dream of running in Boston will never be able to because of the fast-qualifying times you must run to be in the consideration. As for me: for my first marathon I ran under my Boston Marathon qualifying time by 88 seconds and PRed my mileage by over 6 miles. That’s something I’ll always be proud of. And by the way…I’m not giving up on running Boston in 2025! I. Ain’t. Done! 

 

As for my future decisions, I’ll continue to take things day by day and enjoy the ride I’m currently on. I don’t want to miss the incredible things in front of my eyes. This month alone, I did THREE classroom transformations in 4 weeks. IT. WAS. AWESOME! The kids loved it. I loved it! One weekend, I took a getaway trip to see college football and baseball with my friend! My skin was burnt, but my spirit was high. It was such a fun trip that I’m glad I made. I’ll keep preparing for what the future might be, while enjoying the present roller coaster of a life I’m currently living!

 

The Imposter syndrome is always going to be knocking at your door. It might come from a co-worker, a friend, a parent, or in your mind. And know you’re not alone, fight it with your friends and family and seek extra help too. Reading, running, and traveling are some of my favorites. Always remember, you are not an imposter. YOU are perfectly you! Keep being you!