There are many
things I struggle with. I can list off more things I struggle with than I’m successful
at. Oftentimes I struggle with sleep. Other times I struggle with eating my
vegetables. In all, the ‘thing’ I struggle with most is finding time for
myself.
If you look up the
definition of workaholic, you will find my name and probably many others right
beside it. We have our own reasons: not enough time, nothing better do, workload,
etc. My reasons include: perfectionism, determination, and loneliness.
Being raised
catholic I know that I’m not perfect, and despite all this my God will love me
just as much. If I sit back and ponder those words it’s a powerful feeling that
makes me feel as if what I’m doing (well, trying to), is good enough. Despite
my mistakes and failures, I am good enough.
That’s why despite
my perfectionism, I’m a risk-taker. That phrase, ‘ask for forgiveness later’ is
all me. The other day I wore a jean jacket, jeans with HOLES, and my blasted my
guitar as I greeted kids getting off the bus. Just today, I taped kindness phrases
on the outside of my portable. Both times, my principal has no idea…shhh! Be brave!
My determination
to be better than I was yesterday is my motto. It’s been my mindset since I was
young. I’m a competitor. (Today I swatted a basketball from a 4th
grader’s shot.) I’m not out to be the greatest teacher who ever lived; just
better than the person I was yesterday. I have the most amazing twenty young
individuals and our school grade that are relying on me.
I live alone. I
teach alone. I work out alone. I have a few friends. Most reside in my
home-state, Nebraska. Others are scattered throughout the United States, so I
don’t get to visit them often, or at all. . Learning to be okay with being
alone all-the-time is something I’ve gotten better at. I value the peaceful
moments. However, having adult conversations and going places with people my
age would be be a fun change. Tag and Fornite get old. Sorry, 4th
graders!
When people ask me
how I’m doing I typically say, “just breathing”. People tend to respond back
with a worried look. Have no fear! I’m saying those words because I’m not:
teaching on tables, being chased by 20 sugar-craved kids, and creating my next
classroom transformation. Understanding
that every second we’re breathing is powerful because it means we still have an
opportunity.
If you have
struggles like mine, don’t forget to breathe. Try reaching out. Keep being who
you are. Most importantly, find time for yourself and accept you are okay the
way you are. Take those risks you’ve been so hesitant to take. …Today is an opportunity.
Breathe. YOU GOT THIS!
