Fans

Picture this: The clock is ticking down; your team is down by one in the basketball game. The fans are going crazy! The ball is passed around. You have it in your hands. The shot is yours. You’ve made it thousands of times! In a split second, you pass the ball to someone else. The clock expires. Game over.

 

Lately, that’s been me. Ever since my life changed positively a month ago, the noise from others has drowned out my excitement to come to school. The negativity from the opposers has caused me to feel unwelcome and lonelier than it was already. I see them (the teachers) chatter. I wonder if it’s about me or just teacher talk. I’ve tried to remain quieter and just “pass the ball” (fit in.) It’s been hard on me. That’s not me.

 

I show up to daily team lunches and it’s rare more than a sentence is spoken to me, or more than a sentence leaves my own mouth. At recess for the last month the teachers don’t sit in their normal spots on the bench near me. I feel like I’ve been benched while they’ve been their own game elsewhere.

 

            The moment I do share a play (an idea), it’s meant with skepticism and pessimism. That’s been the case all year. A new, talented player (teacher) joins a veteran team is overlooked. This happens to teachers and athletes all the time. It’s the unfortunate norm. Everyone brushes it off and keeps showing up with a smile on their face.  

 

            The thing is, in education, your biggest fans are with you for 180 days. They’re the ones that listen to (almost) every command you give them. You spend hours with them daily growing them as much as they grow you. By the end of the year, you wonder where all the hours went. You dread the last day with them despite summer looming. These fans are your STUDENTS!

 

            In a profession that can be met with lots of stress and mandated scripted curriculum, your students are the most important audience you can play for! They’re why you’re in the game (education) to begin with. 

 

We often to focus on the coaches and owners (school leaders), instead of ones we’re playing for; the fans (the students.) I’m guilty of it. It’s easy to give in to what others want from you. It’s hard to be different all the time and not want to sit on the bench and blend in after you’ve been questioned and booed enough times. 

 

You look up at the stands and see that one fan staring right at you. They’re smiling at you. They’ve been there the whole game. You gain a little confidence. 

 

But you show up the next game.  That fan who showed up the day before brought a new fan! Your confidence continues to grow. You smile a little a bit more. You perform a little bitter. When you felt alone in the game, you think back to the two fans that cheered for you.

 

You show the next game. The fans have tripled! You decide to play offensively faster. You’re a little more vocal. You get the foul call. You miss the free throw, but proud of yourself for getting to the foul line. 

 

The next game comes, the fans show up in the bunches. You’re playing faster and more decisive. You hear the coaches but make the right play because you’re in the game viewing the game live. The fans are cheering. But the coach benches you.

 

The following game, the fans are in the dozens! You’re as confident as ever despite starting from the bench. The moment you get into the game, you make a steal. You grab a rebound. You take a charge. You pass the ball with precision. The crowd is going wild! 

 

We have the most incredible fans inside our room daily. They’ll be with us on our  best days and on our worst days. But most importantly, they’re the ones we’re playing for; not the (test) score at the end of the game (school year). Our fans don’t care about the outside noise, they care about YOU as their teacher. They love when they’re acknowledged, learning, and having fun! Those are the three very least things we can do. 

 

It's so hard to block out the loud naysayers on the other side. It’s hard to change the play the others want you to go with. But the fans believe in you! They want you to be the person you were meant to be, not just like the others. They’ll support you no matter what. Always remember they’re the ones you’re showing up for. 

 

Dress up! Make a last-minute switch in your lesson plan! Go buy butterflies! Do a classroom transformation! Play line tag with them! Beat them in a game of Blooket! Show up to their after-school events! Laugh with them! 

 

I’ll ask you again… the clock is ticking down; your team is down by one in the basketball game. You have the ball. The shot is yours. The home crowd is chanting your name! What are you going do with the ball? The choice is yours! 

Marathon 3

It’s been exactly two weeks after my second marathon. For twelve days it’s been eating at me at what happened the last 5k of the Houston Marathon. Things were going to so well that I was on pace to be two minutes faster than my pace group; until “the wall” hit me and I slowed down to crawl and I missed my PR by two minutes. My mom summarized best as she hugged me post-race, “That’s only the second time I can recall you not hitting the goal you set.” 

 

Post-marathon blues have been living in my head ever since. What could I have differently? Should I have trained in colder weather? Do I need to run three hours a few times beforehand? What about lifting, something that’s been non-existent in both my marathons? For this marathon I ran over 60 times, more than I ever have for a race, should I have did one less run less per week?  I’ve stuck to a running plan whatsoever, should I mostly stick one for my next marathon? What about my daily eating habits? Did great on hydrating during this marathon, but declined eating GU gels, should I use them next time? Did all the hype from friends, family, and students put too much pressure on me?

 

Questions! Questions! Questions!

 

But one question is now answered. My third marathon will be ran in December on the other side of the country; my fifty-race month in a row and possibly the end of my race streak! When I got the thought in my head about running a marathon in June 2026, my dad put another race in my head. To make matters more interesting, this December marathon is nearly sold out already! Knowing that, I asked my dad if I should sign up tonight. He suggested I wait until it’s even more full. After checking their social media pages, I noticed a significant lack of inactivity including not having an Instagram page, to which I felt I had no other choice but sign up for my third marathon tonight. Sorry dad…

 

Before you hit the panic button, this marathon has a lot of prestige! According to its page: it’s the #1 Boston Qualifier race. (851 runners ran faster than a 2:55, compared to 300-400 runners in Houston.)  It’s one of the top ten largest marathons. It’s another race that has 2:55 pacers, unlike the one I wanted to run 2026. Many running magazines praise it. 

 

Part of me is immediately regretting the decision. I just finished four months of training and can finally relax but chose to sign up for another marathon. I’m also not fully healed and feeling some marathon bumps still. My body has 40 months of continuous running on it and I’m feeling it. Then there are the “what ifs”. What if my legs can’t make it another 10 months? What if I don’t run the time I want?

 

Another part of me loves my inner mindset to make this marathon my best finish yet. The decision to buy a marathon book. The poster board with ideas for how to run my next marathon better. The Boston Bib with the time I want on it. The google searches for marathons. Downloading my running plan for this December. I love it all.  The guts to type this blog. 

 

I honestly don’t know if my legs and body can make it another 10 months of running. I am tired! My legs are banged up. But I do know, I want another crack at the marathon. By choosing December, it gives me plenty of time to casually rest, study, and game plan. It gives me enough time away to feel ready to train again. Come August I’ll be hungry again to start training, just like I am with teaching. 

 

This marathon will not be shared publicly like my last one, but rather the opposite. I want to stick to a plan. I hope during it I’ll get physically stronger, eat healthier, and enjoy the training. I still want 2:55. 

Let It

I believe a famous Bettles song goes by, “Let it Be, let it be, let it be, let it be, whisper words of wisdom, let it be!” A song released in 1970 reigns true over 50 years today! For many of us the first two words “Let It” then followed by an assortment of words have gotten us through many challenging times in our lives, including mine.

 

To kickoff January 2025 I’ve experienced heartbreak: the distancing of a friendship, class parents not being happy with me, and my marathon not going to plan. In the midst of it all, I read four powerful books! These four books were about: sleep, optimism, perseverance, and fortitude. 

 

The last of these books has had an immediate impact on me and many others; so much that Mel Robbins, the author of the book: The Let Them Theory shares two pages worth of tattoos that say, “Let Them”. I wasn’t as bold as her loyal fans, but I did write “Let Them” on my palm all week. The book dived into strategies that can help you let go of things out of your control go by saying “Let Them _______.” After 36 pages I wrote on the inside cover “new blog idea, Let It”. I was hooked! 

 

A parent is angry with my response to a situation. Let it.

My body struggled the last three miles of my marathon. Let it.

I prioritized washing dish instead of getting to school when I planned to. Let it.

I didn’t grade papers as I planned. Let it.

My brother hasn’t visited since I moved to Florida seven years ago. Let it.

A friendship is fading because you’re no longer invested. Let it.

Plans changed last minute and now more work is to be done. Let it.

I haven’t run in two weeks to keep resting despite two races coming up. Let it.

 

These are all examples that happened just this week. For many people are stressors. But for me, thanks to The Let Them Theory book and my consistent reading of psychology books, none of these are. I see, hear the distress on teachers in my school daily. It breaks my heart! They always wonder…how do I do what I do so carefree. The simple answer: I let go of what I can’t control.

The two ironic things about me are: I’m a HUGE people pleaser and a control freak. When I finally reach out to some parents about concerns, then they flip the blame to me, it hurts! Sometimes tears are shed and I need advice from my allies, but ultimately I let it (the situation) go because the vast majority of my class parents don’t say those things about me. I’m doing the best I can and so are they. We both don’t know what the other is going through.

 

In my most recent marathon, I was on pace to break my PR by three minutes despite the freezing temps and achy knee. Suddenly at mile 23 my race fell completely apart, and I missed by PR by two minutes. I let myself slow down for my own safety. I remember after crossing the finish line how proud I was for finishing my second marathon, rather than being devastated like my friends and family feared I’d be. There will be more marathons for me. I’ll be back better than ever after I learn more and recover. 

 

You know the story how my sister and her family visited me in Florida after many years, but my brother hasn’t. Despite my and parents’ attempts, he still hasn’t budged. He has his reasons, but for years I thought he’d overcome those fears and have fun with his brother. After all, now that my sister has visited, I think she has the Disney bug. It took many years for her to come down here despite my attempts in every conversation we had. No matter how much I shared about Florida, none of those things worked as I thought they would. From here on out, I’m going to let it be that my brother hasn’t visited me be okay with it. HE must want to, not just me. It has come from within him. I know he loves me even from afar. I’ll stay optimistic he’ll visit!

 

There are so many things that are out of our control. Even when we do try to control or fix them, sometimes we make them worse. As hard as it is: let them be, let it happen, let yourself move on, let them struggle, and let go. When you stop wasting your time and energy on things you can’t stop, control, or prevent, you clear up so much for time, space and energy for yourself! You’re even happier! You deserve that! You are worth it! Let it!