I’m just going to say it. I’ve been slumping a lot this summer; on my couch, on my runs, and with friends and family. It’s been the hardest summer mentally for me that I can remember in decades.
This summer has been hard physically. As the summer heat has arrived, so have my slower, sweatier runs. This is normal for me and for runners around the globe. I remember year after year that no matter how well I’m feeling, the majority of my runs (if ran after 8-9am as they typically are) are going to be slower than I’m used to. I understand it, but still feel disappointed. In early June, I lost a race I should’ve won. When I was in the lead, I pleaded with my hands with the 2nd place runner to go in front of me. He refused for awhile and this added to my frustration, so maybe he was just as tired. To add to my misery my family saw it happen live. I’m still embarrassed and disappointed weeks later. Regardless of heat, I still sleep in while I can and then keep my mileage going and that’s something to be proud of. I might be slumping from exhaustion, but I know in the fall and winter, these sluggish workouts will pay off!
This summer has also been hard mentally. To be honest, I’m still healing from my best friend and I moving on from each (for reasons that are still a mystery to me.) With more time to relax, comes with more questions and thoughts. The thoughts will come me randomly during the day or when I’m at a place we had we’d made great memories at and so… I slump. But I bet I’m not alone when I say that the hardest moments in my day are right before bed. You know, when your brain can’t turn off when it’s supposed to relax. There’s been multiple days where I’ve laid on the couch for half the day without moving because it’s what I’ve needed. To help heal, I am seeking consoling and medication. Both are helping. I understand the wound might never fully heal because of the love I still have.
The summer has been hard because I’m moving soon. I’ve called my apartment and city home for four years. It’s the longest I’ve lived somewhere since high school. I’ve experienced highs in my apartment: airplane flyovers, the most calming backyard view, friends hanging out, and fireworks on the lake. I can’t forget… I’ve typed 48 blogs here, one for every month I’ve lived here! I’ve also experienced lows: breakups, surgery, and having my apartment broken into. As days here are lessening while the packing boxes are growing and at times, I slump at all that I’ve been there here. As I’m excited for my move, but I’m also going to miss this home, just like I am with my former school.
Typing this blog has been one of my most difficult to date, but I doubt I’m alone in feeling the way that I do. That’s if someone that reads this blog today, tomorrow, or five years from now and realizes that they’re not alone in their slumping this blog will have been a success. As my armband reminds me, Never Give Up, and I’m not going to, and neither should you. I’ve made some great memories this summer and I know in the next four weeks I’m going to make more! Maybe that’ll be July’s blog!
Just know, It’s okay to slump, especially if you’re a teacher. It’s okay to slump if struggling mentally or physically. So slow down, drink some water, call your mom, eat fast food, watch Bridgerton on Netflix (it’s not my cup of tea, but maybe it’s yours. I don’t judge) But please be patient and give yourself grace. You’re not slumping alone so pass your box (burden) to a friend or just sit it down. You’d be surprised when you share your story with others. But most importantly, never give up! Stand tall! You got this!
