Hills & Valleys

October…the time of the year where the honeymoon period is over with students and the leaves start changing colors (everywhere except Florida.) It’s surprisingly been a fast month, literally and figuratively. It’s been a month of many hills and valleys!

 

Upon checking my photos, I don’t have many. That seems unusual because I know I’ve had a great month and have been adding many stickers to my journal. To be honest, despite the valleys (good things) I’ve climbed many hills this month.

 

To be fully transparent, I’m still healing. This week the ‘past’ thoughts haven’t been on my mind as much, but they’re still present daily. They hurt, and I acknowledge them, but keep going about my day. It’s still a hill I’m climbing.

 

A valley this month has been my running. For the first time in a decade, I’ve consistently ran 5 days a week, averaging about 30 miles per week without injury. I’m proud of that. I haven’t missed a Monday run club yet! I’m doing my pushups, planks, and cardio daily. I’m seeing my body change positively. And… I have the students holding me accountable by eating strawberries in front of both my classes daily. 

Upon walking into my school today, a para said to her daughter, “There’s the fun teacher! Hopefully you get him one day!” Then she looked at right at me and said, “The community is talking all about you!” It’s true, I’ve heard my name floated around in positive ways a lot this month. That’s an honor. I don’t try to extravagant, just myself and people have liked that. It seems like the students and parents are really trusting and enjoying me. 

 

Unfortunately, despite that incredible compliment and others, the feeling of loneliness has been a hill for me. I love my team, they’re incredible, but I don’t feel part of them. Most of them worked together for years at their former school. This is the second school I’ve gone to where I’ve had to make all new friends. I haven’t missed a lunch with the team, but I don’t say a word because many of the conversations I’m not familiar with. I still love them and the other teachers, and I am happy and love coming to work! I know it took me until year two or three at my previous school to truly feel part of it. It’ll happen, just a matter of when. 

 

I’ve loved coming to work so much that oftentimes I’ve gone to events following the school day. Two weeks ago, I went to the trunk or treat event. I had a blast! I only planned to stay half an hour but had so much fun with parents and students I stayed over an hour! Last week we hosted a kickball game near our school. It was so much fun! So many students showed up that we had four games going at once. I was busy coaching…and was able to hit two homeruns! It brought back great memories from previous years of me coaching and playing kickball. Last night, I changed my plans last minute to attend two students I teach play softball. I stayed after to keep talking to their parents and themselves. I plan on going to two theater plays and gymnastic events soon!

 

Another hill embarrassingly has been my reading life. I tried to plan it out. I needed to average a book every nine days for the rest of the year to maintain my 40 books yearly goal and it has not happened. Not because of time, but because of motivation. I thought moving into this apartment would help regain the momentum, but with marathon training and late evenings at school I haven’t put forth the effort. I forgive myself because I’ve put that effort into what I previous mentioned. That’s perfectly okay. 

 

Lastly, I attended my first UCF and Tampa Buccaneers football games! If you know me, parking is normally super stressful, but the more sporting events I attend, the less it stresses me out. I had so much fun at both events! Nothing, but happy memories from each game (despite both games being losses lol)! I hope to go again! Attending sports and playing sports are two things that have made me happy!

I guess you can say October isn’t so scary after all!  

The 2:50 Marathon

The reality is… I haven’t wanted anything bad enough in a long time. Whether that’s healing from my past or running extremely well in a race. I haven’t wanted it enough to make consistent changes. Every time I say, “Today is the day I’m changing my life” it lasts a few minutes, then tomorrow comes, and making the necessary changes becomes too hard. Today has to be the day! I can do this!

 

Changing is always going to be hard if you don’t consistently do the hard things day after day after day. That’s been my dilemma in many circumstances. It’s easy to eat a few strawberries on Monday after you just bought them. But what about on Thursday and Friday when they look a little dried and you’re tired from the week? It becomes hard. Push-ups, sit-ups, planks are easy in the morning, but after you’ve been working for eight hours a day and finished your workout, getting on my hands to strengthen my core isn’t my immediate favorite thing to do. Drinking more water, reading, sleeping more…all of these are possible, but have been difficult to consistently do.

 

You have to have a bigger motivation, a purpose, a calling to things that are hard for you. That’s why now I’m setting my sights on a 2:50 marathon of all things. If you would asked me three years ago when I started my monthly races, it would’ve been the furthest things from my mind. Yet… if you would asked me in January of 2020, if I’d still keep my monthly blog going through September 2024 I would’ve liked said no. Or what about my daily journaling? Today is day 1,290! So… my question for myself is why can’t I run a 2:50 marathon?

In April I ran just under one hour and twenty two minutes in the half marathon. It’s not the fastest half marathon I’ve ran, but it’s a time I haven’t ran in years. It got my dad and thinking…maybe a 2:55 marathon is possible. 

As of twenty-four hours ago, after reading Run Elite, I want to run a under 2:50. It would shave off eight minutes from my previous marathon, or about 15 seconds per mile. I genuinely believe it’s possible. I have just under four months to do it. I’m in a good apartment. I have a school and students I rave about consistently. I have three years of consistent running under my belt. I’m smarter. I think I have a chance at it. 

                  How bad do I want run a 2:50 marathon? How bad do I want to eat better? How bad do I want to strengthen my core? How bad do I want to strengthen my mind? How bad do I want to strengthen my heartbeat? I’m writing a blog aren’t I? Now is the time. This time…

I want the 2:50 Marathon!

6 Week Check-Up

It’s August 31. We have a three-day weekend thanks to Labor Day. College football has officially kicked off. Nebraska is winning 37-7 against UTEP. I’m relaxing in my wood floor apartment. My new PS5 is itching to be played. I secretly just registered for the Disney Springtime Challenge in April 2025. Dominos pizza and breadsticks are awaiting me. It feels right.

 

                  Six weeks ago, I’ve moved into my new apartment and new elementary school. It seems fitting that I titled this blog a ‘check-up’ when I haven’t been to a doctor in almost a year. Shhh! Six weeks is a small sample size, but there are definitely notable differences I’ve experienced in short time in my apartment and school. 

 

                  Let’s talk about my apartment. This apartment is more than150 feet bigger, has wood floors, washer and dryer included, very updated appliances, and it only cost $100 more than my previous apartment. My bathtub filled up all the way with hot water and my stove can boil water for cooking. Simple luxuries I haven’t had in years. It’s been mostly quiet. I haven’t had any maintenance problems. All and all, it’s been relaxing and good to feel safe again. 

 

                  My new school is a work in progress. That’s common for new schools. Two new OCPS middle schools barely were opened a day or two for teachers before their school year started. We were more fortunate having twelve days to get acclimated to our surroundings. Although this classroom is my smallest in my nine years of teaching, I’m blessed with great students, supportive parents, and an incredible team of teachers and principals. 

Joining a staff that the majority followed our principal from his previous school has its challenges mentally. While many teachers know each other and tendencies of the administration, I don’t. At times, I feel very lonely at school. All of this is common for teachers at new schools. Four years ago, at my previous school, I felt the same way. With time, I’ll feel at home. Friday was a big step. I wore my Nebraska corn hat, long sleeve, and overalls for College Colors Day. The reaction and conversations I had with many students and teachers felt good and optimistic for the rest of the school year. 

So far I haven’t done much in the area because of how busy both moves have kept me, but I have run a few times and haven’t missed a Sunday church service. Both feel refreshing for my soul, even if I’m on “break” from running before my marathon training kicks into gear. I have been getting my groceries from Publix and Target since the local Wal-Mart is consistently jam packed. At times both stores have made me feel like I’m shopping in a foreign country, but helpful. After trying the local Little Caesars last week and being very disappointed, I opted for Dominos this week, for the first time in a decade, and it was a welcome change. My reading hasn’t quite picked up yet unlike my Lego building and movie watching. I even snuck away to see my first WWE event at the Kia Center and watch the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie with two friends. 

Six weeks later, my first check-up is very positive! I feel safer at my apartment and happier at my school than I did at my previous stop. I love how much space I have in my apartment and how I set it up. My new school is full of supportive teachers and extremely kind and intelligent students. And… I’m starting to like Publix. But don’t tell anyone that. I’d say this check-up is better than expected. I’m excited for the future!

Upgrade

When I walked into my new apartment, I had the biggest smile seeing the tall ceilings, lots of storage, ceiling fans, wood floors, and more. Then I saw it. “What are you so giddy about?” The apartment manager asked. 

“This apartment has lights!” I said happily.

 

                  The last few years haven’t been bad. I’ve made many memories in my last apartment that I’ll never forget. However, it is true, for years I had to install my own lights in the majority of the apartment and had appliances that were from the 1970s. In the two weeks I’ve been here, it’s been a night and day difference. There are lights everywhere, new appliances, and a safer community. The stereotype of Florida that all non-Floridians have in heads, is the area I know live. 

 

                  Tomorrow it’s time for the last major move: my new school. I’ve dreamed of this day since February 29, when I accepted the job. There were so many unknowns at the beginning: my teammates, my classroom, and my community.  I’ve met my teammates and the community a few times this summer. (Very) slowly, but surely, my new school has been built. That means tomorrow I finally get to move into my classroom! It feels like Christmas in July! Today, I was given a preview, and the possibilities were bouncing through my head. 

 

                  Over the last few weeks, I’ve made smaller, but impactful upgrades. For my bed, I bought a memory foam mattress which has made sleep more immaculate and added 20 minutes of deep sleep each night. For my car, I added new floor mats and a magnetic phone charging case that has made my phone very stable as I navigate my new community. Most importantly, I’m now drinking a vitamin powder, suggested by brother, that is helping me feel healthier. 

 

                  In these two weeks, at times it doesn’t seem surreal this where I live. I’ve admitted to friends and family that I feel not worthy. They remind me this is my new life that I’ve worked tirelessly and relentlessly for. It’s true. It’s taken 7 years to get here. I’ve made great decisions. I’ve made bad decisions. But through it all, I’ve learned so much and been determined to not settle for a life I dream of. It feels like I’ve made a bigger step toward my ultimate goals: moving into a house and starting a family. 

 

As for right now, I’m proud of where I live and school community I have. I have so much to look forward to. I’m enjoying every day so much more and noticeably happier. I’m grateful I finally made my major upgrade!

Summer Slump

I’m just going to say it. I’ve been slumping a lot this summer; on my couch, on my runs, and with friends and family. It’s been the hardest summer mentally for me that I can remember in decades.

 

                  This summer has been hard physically. As the summer heat has arrived, so have my slower, sweatier runs. This is normal for me and for runners around the globe. I remember year after year that no matter how well I’m feeling, the majority of my runs (if ran after 8-9am as they typically are) are going to be slower than I’m used to. I understand it, but still feel disappointed. In early June, I lost a race I should’ve won. When I was in the lead, I pleaded with my hands with the 2^nd place runner to go in front of me. He refused for awhile and this added to my frustration, so maybe he was just as tired. To add to my misery my family saw it happen live. I’m still embarrassed and disappointed weeks later. Regardless of heat, I still sleep in while I can and then keep my mileage going and that’s something to be proud of. I might be slumping from exhaustion, but I know in the fall and winter, these sluggish workouts will pay off!

 

                  This summer has also been hard mentally. To be honest, I’m still healing from my best friend and I moving on from each (for reasons that are still a mystery to me.) With more time to relax, comes with more questions and thoughts. The thoughts will come me randomly during the day or when I’m at a place we had we’d made great memories at and so… I slump. But I bet I’m not alone when I say that the hardest moments in my day are right before bed. You know, when your brain can’t turn off when it’s supposed to relax. There’s been multiple days where I’ve laid on the couch for half the day without moving because it’s what I’ve needed. To help heal, I am seeking consoling and medication. Both are helping. I understand the wound might never fully heal because of the love I still have. 

 

                  The summer has been hard because I’m moving soon. I’ve called my apartment and city home for four years. It’s the longest I’ve lived somewhere since high school. I’ve experienced highs in my apartment: airplane flyovers, the most calming backyard view, friends hanging out, and fireworks on the lake. I can’t forget… I’ve typed 48 blogs here, one for every month I’ve lived here! I’ve also experienced lows: breakups, surgery, and having my apartment broken into. As days here are lessening while the packing boxes are growing and at times, I slump at all that I’ve been there here. As I’m excited for my move, but I’m also going to miss this home, just like I am with my former school.

                  

                  Typing this blog has been one of my most difficult to date, but I doubt I’m alone in feeling the way that I do. That’s if someone that reads this blog today, tomorrow, or five years from now and realizes that they’re not alone in their slumping this blog will have been a success. As my armband reminds me, Never Give Up, and I’m not going to, and neither should you. I’ve made some great memories this summer and I know in the next four weeks I’m going to make more! Maybe that’ll be July’s blog!

Just know, It’s okay to slump, especially if you’re a teacher. It’s okay to slump if struggling mentally or physically. So slow down, drink some water, call your mom, eat fast food, watch Bridgerton on Netflix (it’s not my cup of tea, but maybe it’s yours. I don’t judge) But please be patient and give yourself grace. You’re not slumping alone so pass your box (burden) to a friend or just sit it down. You’d be surprised when you share your story with others. But most importantly, never give up! Stand tall! You got this! 

Goodbye, Meadow Woods Elementary

The tears flowed down my face. The words refused to come out of my mouth. I knew what I had to do. I never imagined it would be this hard… again. Then I finally said it, “I won’t be returning to Meadow Woods Elementary next year. The shocked faces came rushing up to hug me. Nearly four years later, the exact same sequence played out as it did before.

 

            Before I could even move closer to Meadow Woods Elementary, my new principal mailed me a big box filled with Meadow Woods shirts, folders, pens, and books! Months later, the admin team welcomed us in pirate outfits and balloon decorations on a massive red carpet. My teaching partner was insanely talented. Teachers were constantly smiling and thriving! It was a dream come true!

            Six months later in January, our principal, Dr. Vazquez announced she was being assigned to a new school and would be departing in a month. The very principal who finally understood what my philosophies were and was so supportive was leaving after less than a full school year. I was crushed.

            The intern principal eventually became our permanent principal. Many things stayed the same, but some teachers departed after the school year. Things still felt Meadow Woods magical, so I stayed.

 

            The next year, Ms. Vargas and Ms. Seijos joined our 4^th grade team. They were great additions. The team was much more cohesive than the year before. When situations were challenging for any teammate, we were united; so much so that we won a few schoolwide competitions and hung out after school a few times. Meanwhile for me, just like the year before I was still doing my classroom transformations and dressing up. My reputation had grown immensely. … However, this year did see a massive exodus of teachers. Things were slowly unraveling…

 

            Year three at Meadow Woods would be my favorite year. The class I inherited would quickly grow to become one of my favorite ones I’ve ever taught and it was a bonus to keep them all day. We could be funny for one second, then flip the switch and be serious the next second. They understood me and I understood them. Before the school year, I secretly created a group text between Ms. Vargas, Ms. Seijos, and I. It was known we were a strong trio. This year was extremely fun between the three of us! We competed against one another and often pranked each other’s classes. At the end of the year we even did a huge science celebration with Mentos and Diet Coke, a kickball game, and threw water balloons! Despite the year we had, we saw the disconnect between our principal, admin, and teachers growing apart. Our days of staying were numbered, and we openly acknowledged it.

            Year four for me started off the best way possible. I did three room transformations in 4 weeks and in the meantime won the Teacher of the Year! To top it off Ms. Vargas, Ms. Seijos, and I would only be teaching math and science. That meant we’d be teaming up 24/7 and attending the same meetings. This year seemed like a shoe in for the BEST YEAR EVER! 

Unfortunately, many things factored why it wasn’t for many teachers. For me, those things are well documented in my blogs during this school year. The most common among the entire school was lack of support and consequences for misbehaviors. As the misbehaviors were spreading, so was the toxicity amongst teachers and admin. Admin were very open about the disconnect and professionalism they had with our principal. The toxicity got to the point where our area superintendent talked to every teacher. It was heartbreaking. The clock was ticking…

Then the first domino fell. Ms. Vargas sent her resume to two places. The news hit Ms. Seijos and I pretty hard. We knew she meant it this time and our strong trio would likely be crumbling to an end. I quickly updated my resume and landed an interview within a week. Ms. Seijos, with some of friendly reminders got hers done. After lots of conversations with Ms. Vargas, Ms. Seijos, and other trusted friends and family, I was the first to accept a job. Ms. Seijos and Ms. Vargas would accept there’s two months later. I’m happy to say they’ll be working together, and we’ll be lifelong friends.

 

 

My time at Meadow Woods Elementary was extraordinary because of the students, teachers, and parents! I don’t have any regrets. I was there to serve them. Every day I gave it my best shot! I loved what I did and never apologized for doing what best for students and teachers. I hope I did a good job. In the process I met some teachers that I’m optimistic I’ll call my friends and mentors forever. Shoutout to… the custodians, the cooks, Ms. Seijos, Ms. Vargas, Ms. Bennett, Ms. Weber, Ms. Gonzalez, Ms. Rodriguez, Ms. Fernandez, Ms. Craig, Dr. Vazquez, and Ms. Fox. More importantly, thank you to the 150 students I taught. Thank you for letting me be your teacher and being so accepting of my energy, outfits, and ideas! I wish you nothing but success and happiness!

 

Goodbye, Meadow Woods Elementary! 

            

365 Days

How bad do you want to improve YOUR life? That’s what I write on my palm every morning. 

 

 

I want to improve my life. But the question is, how bad am I willing to improve it? How bad do I want to be healthier? How bad do I want to requalify faster for the Boston Marathon? How bad do I want to learn how to cook? How bad do you want to learn how to take medicine to better my health? The answer to the questions will likely shock you: 

NOT. BAD. ENOUGH.

 

It’s the truth. Right now, I don’t want those things bad enough yet. The key word: yet. I’m already improving my life little by little. I do a little workout and stretch daily each weekday. I’ve cut back on my sugar intake. I continue to read daily. I’m proud of those routines and habits I’ve built, plus many other mentioned. I’m seeing the gains already. 

 

But… I can be even better.  That’s the hard truth only I know in my heart. Don’t worry, I’m not the workaholic I used to be. (That in of itself was unhealthy, despite my best intention.) I still have a huge, sweet tooth. I cave into my impulsive buying more lately.  I don’t get enough sleep and it can be very noticeable.

 

Very few people know about my heart condition. It’s still something haven’t seen a doctor for it in awhile. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you when I’ve last seen a doctor for anything non feet related. One of my friends told me recently how concerned they were for me because all it takes is one ache and who knows where I’ll be next. It really set a grave reality. 

The second we are born the seconds tick down until we are called to God. (Sorry for the reminder.) After I just crossed another birthday milestone, I’ve realized I’m not getting any younger and it’s time to get a little more serious. I also know very soon I’m going to make some massive changes (I like to call them upgrades) to my life that I’m very excited for. (Stay tuned!) A few days ago my yearly clock started ticking. Tick…tick… tick…

 

There are 31,536,000 seconds are in one year. I am making my plan right now to make sure in one year I’m in a better place mentally, physically, and spiritually. I like where I’m at now, but not even close to being satisfied. (Heck, I just ran a 1:21:55 half marathon, a time I haven’t ran in 4+ years, and yet I’m determined to knock it down another minute or two.) My body feels better. I’m mentally slightly better more two months ago. But… I’m not satisfied and won’t be until I reach my bigger goals. I can be even better, and I want to be. I remind myself what my end goals are and surround myself with people that will be help me get there. Sooner than later, I’ll be moving with the hope the move also contribute positively my end goal 365 days away. 

Consistent healthy habits are going to change my life these next 365 days and I’m excited for you to join me on this ride. Never Give Up! Let’s go!